Thursday, July 19, 2007


It hasn't even been 2 full weeks since the last wedding I attended. Yet, the bride and groom are having second thoughts...and fights...and giving ultimatums. The groom's mom has already told him he can have a room at her place if it doesn't work out. Did I mention this is his 3rd trip down the aisle? Did I mention that his mom, on their wedding day, told me she was still waiting on Mr. Free and I to take that trip? And did I mention that I told her we were already married, but that we'd have a ceremony for the public to witness at a later date? Did I tell you she appeared totally confused by what I meant? Not her fault, she's a lovely lady whom I really like, but like most, she's grossly confused about what marriage is.

But anyway, back to the newlyweds...

On their honeymoon, they got into a huge altercation. Personal property was destroyed. Why? Oh, I don't know, but somehow they agreed that they would just go their separate ways for an evening. Let me repeat that in further detail. On their 3 day honeymoon, they agreed they would go their separate ways for an evening out on the town. Did I mention in my last post that she is a missionary at her church? Anyway, the agreement was that she'd enjoy the company of some exotic caribbean men and he'd do whatever it is that newly married men who aren't devoted to Christ do when their wives give them a few hours of freedom while she soaks in the sights of the caribbean chocolate. Somehow, this agreement led to women flocking all over him while he was alone (one even gave him the key to her room) and when he and wifey reunited, a HUGE argument ensued. Crazy, I know. But they're married, folks. It's official. Preacher, witnesses, certificate, the whole shabang. I saw the very conservative, Christian pastor "pronounce" them husband and wife (as though he'd actually been given the heavenly authority to do so) with my own eyes. They both even signed a marriage certificate (even though the groom signed with a last name that isn't legally his, just as he'd done with one of his two previous wives).

Now, back at home, he's moved in with her, but she won't give him a key to the house. She also sleeps fully clothed on the opposite side of the bed. He has given her 30 days notice to either shape up or he's shipping out.

Of course, I know that most newlyweds go through their adjustment issues and that most are not nearly as severe, but I didn't make this up. This is 100%, unadulterated drama (even though I've left some of the more sordid details out). And, while I don't take pleasure in detailing this, I do so to point out that all that's legal is not marriage.

Yes, I have an agenda. It's a personal one and I own it.

I contrast real-life stories like this one to prove my own little truth even if no one else is listening. For many, many years Mr. Free and I have been shunned, lectured, rebuked and our relationship belittled all because we don't have that little, meaningless thing called a marriage license. The strength of our union is ignored. The bond between us unrecognizable to most as a marriage, because we don't allow the State to validate what we believe only the Almighty has authority over. So, couples like this get all of the respect and reputation of marriage by our well-meaning Christian family and friends, even though their relationships in no way mimic the actual meaning and description of marriage as prescribed by the bible that Mr. Free and I endeavor to live each and every day for the rest of our lives together.

Am I bitter, no. I used to be, but now that I understand the brainwashing that our Christian, legal and social traditions (and that's all it amounts to...tradition) has done to my loved ones, I can't be upset. I am, however, passionate about my beliefs. And, as long as situations like this arise, I'm not gloating about the demise of someone else's relationship, but I will use it to compare and contrast my own until others begin to see the hypocrisy in seeing legal marriage, by itself, the end all and the be all of the institution.

I may be shouting from the rooftops in a ghost town, but at least I'm getting it off my chest.

In Him,


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